THE ROSE REVIEW: Best

A swell crowd of 200 college profs, writers and hipsters exploded into cries of "Neato!", "Peachy!" and "Oh Boy!" when they realized the TV talkshow daddy-o had, through the magic of product placement and sweeps-week promotion, given them all new cars. "You all now own Edsels, I kid you not!", said the popular talker. Paar, who inspired and educated viewers on several other programs before taking over the Tonight Show this year, said "This is not a ratings stunt. I kid you not. But if this freebie thing goes over well, we may give out similar items next year -- like free drive-in tickets, free letter sweaters, free Lucky Strikes, free bowling balls, and who knows, maybe even free "I Hate Commies" brand nuclear bunkers".