THE ROSE REVIEW: Best

The cheers and tears of a few hundred ecstatic audience members quickly morphed into jeers and sneers when they finally tried to start their new cars. "Well, what did you ungrateful losers expect?" said the popular TV talkshow host, who has been inspiring and educating viewers since the mid-80's. "You got an f-ing car, isn't that enough? You think engines grow on trees? Do I have to do everything for you pathetic whiners?" Pontiac had no comment, except to say that their mechanics are the only ones truly trained to put in Pontiac engines, and going to a third party may save money now "but won't in the long run".